Don't Hold Your Breath
by Brynnifer
Summary: Kerry’s words stunned him, he had expected her to say yes, that she was fine, just a simple operation. Had he really just killed a colleague? Will Abby decide life or death?
1. Default Chapter

_**Don't Hold Your Breath**_

**_Disclaimer: yeah yeah, I dont own anything._**

**_RACHEL- THE BESTEST BETA EVER! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!_**

_**Chapter 1**_

"Alright Mr. Jones, your CT looks fine, but I want to observe you tonight," Abby Lockhart spoke to her patient as she pulled up a chair to sit down next to him, "You're very lucky, most people wouldn't be in such good condition after being thrown ten feet from a car."

"Is he okay?" asked the elderly man who was now almost in tears.

"Who," She asked in a soft, compassionate voice, "the man who hit you?" As Abby talked with him, she reached over him to untangle his left arm from the multiple tubes that he was now connected to. Mr. Jones nodded, tears threatening to overflow. "He's actually in better condition then you, just a couple of minor scrapes and bruises. Once the drugs wear off, we'll be able to do a full neurological exam, and then he'll go to jail."

"I just don't understand why someone would go get so high then get behind the wheel and drive, putting others at risk" Abby watched the monitors as his heart rate increased.

"Okay, I know its okay. I don't know why either, but who knows maybe he learned his lesson tonight;" she grabbed a blanket and placed it over him. "I called you wife, and she's on her way, but until she gets here, I want you to rest." As Abby stood up to leave, Mr. Jones suddenly reached over and grabbed her hand, momentarily startling her. "Thank you for everything Dr. Lockhart, I know you probably get this a lot, but you are a wonderful physician whom I now owe my life to." Abby couldn't help but smile, it wasn't everyday that a patient actually thanked her for her hard work. She put her free hand on top of his.

"Your very welcome, get some rest, I'll be back to check on you soon." he nodded and closed his eyes as Abby lowered the lights and walked out of the trauma room heading towards the admit desk.

"How is he doing?" Jake's voice came out of nowhere.

"Medically he will be fine, just a little shaken up."

"Well I would be too; did you hear how it happened?"

"All I know is that he was rear ended by a driver, who was high on something, and he was thrown ten feet." Abby said and grabbed another chart.

"He's lucky to be alive, ten feet is quite a distance, for someone of his age." Jake paused for a second "when is your break?"

Abby glanced at her watch then back at the board. "I just got back from one about an hour ago,"

"Okay, then when are you off?" Jake smiled down at her.

"Well let's see, considering I'm an intern and have only been on for oh lets say, twelve hours, probably twelve more to go." Jake, suddenly, walked closer to her and pulled her into a tight embrace, instantly all the stress Abby had acquired that day, seemed to melt away. She rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes. She actually felt safe in Jake's arms. Something she hadn't been able to do since her abduction months before.

"Abby, are you okay?" he whispered to her, knowing exactly what she was thinking. He could easily pick up on when she was thinking about what had happened. Her body would tense and she would seem to day dream. When she didn't answer, Jake became worried; he gently pulled her away from him and looked into her eyes. "Abby?" Instantly, she seemed to snap out of her day dream.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired. Can you come and find me when Mr. Jones' wife arrives?" Jake nodded and Abby turned around and headed towards her next patient. She scanned the chart looking for a name before knocking on the door. "Hi Sarah, I'm Abby Lockhart, what happened?" Abby asked looking at the teenager's leg which was encased in a large splint.

"I was at my gymnastics meet; on the balance beam and missed my dismount. I heard a crack when I landed." Abby looked over at the other person in the room as she went to exam Sarah's leg.

"Are you her father?" The man shook his head.

"Nope, just the coach, her parents are on the way though. Do you think it's broken?"

"I can't say for sure without x-rays, but judging from the swelling, it's either severely sprained or fractured."

"So that means no more gymnastics huh?" Sarah asked, looking at her leg, as Abby made some notes in Sarah's chart.

"When is your next competition?"

"Nationals are next week, the entire team is going." Abby could see the disappointment in Sarah's eyes, the way that her entire body was a little defeated knowing that she probably wasn't going to get to go. You could always tell the athlete's, for they were the ones that would do anything, for their sport, regardless of the pain that they might have been in.

"Well I'm not saying that you can't go to nationals, I just don't recommend competing on a broken leg. I'm not so sure that would help out your team so much." Sarah looked over to her coach.

"Can I still go?"

"As long as it's okay with your parents, I don't have a problem. You helped us get to Nationals; you have every right to be there,"

"See, and even if your leg is broken, it will be one heck of a story to tell. Okay, your nurse will be here shortly to take you to x-ray, I'll be back soon." Abby stood up to leave.

"Thanks Dr. Lockhart,"

"Anytime, oh by the way, I want to know how well your team does at the meet, deal." Sarah smiled just as Jake stuck his head in the door.

"Excuse me, Dr. Lockhart, we need you," Abby nodded her head,

"Okay, see you later Sarah," Abby followed Jake out into the hallway. "You needed me?"

"I always need you Dr. Lockhart;" he smiled at her "Mrs. Jones' is waiting for you. I took her to see her husband, is that okay?"

"Sure, did you explain to her what his condition is?"

"Yeah, but she wants to see you personally. Actually, Mr. Jones wants to introduce you to his wife. He really appreciates what you did for him," Abby smiled

"I just did my job"

"You really don't give yourself enough credit." Suddenly Jake's pager went off. He looked at it, then back up at Abby "Sorry, got a GSW coming in, talk to you later?"

"Yeah, I'm going to run to Jumbo Mart, do you want anything?" she shouted after him,

"Hmm, a bag of chips sounds really good about now," he smiled at her and then disappeared around the corner.

"Would you too just kiss already?" Susan's voice caused Abby to jump "sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Susan felt bad, ever since Abby was kidnapped, even the smallest thing could scare her.

"It's okay when did you get here?" Abby looked at her watch, suddenly realizing that she hadn't seen her best friend all day.

"Just about two seconds ago, about the time you offered to grab Jake something to eat. "

"Yeah, you just happened to over hear the conversation didn't you?" Abby laughed knowing Susan was dying to get the scoop out of her.

"Come on Abby! What is really going on between you two? You can trust me; I'm your best friend remember?"

"Later, I need to go talk to a patient. See ya Susan" Abby waved as she left the admit desk and headed towards the trauma room. She looked inside and saw Mr. Jones sitting up in bed, attempting to calm down his wife. "Hey, how are you feeling?" Abby said.

"I'm fine, but you might need to check on my wife, she doesn't seem to believe me. Here, Alice, meet Dr. Lockhart," Mr. Jones introduced the two.

"Thank you so much Dr. Lockhart, Ron means everything to Me." the elderly lady jumped up and pulled Abby into a tight embrace.

"He's a lucky man, no serious injuries. We want to observe him for tonight, and then we'll discharge him in the morning," Abby checked over his vitals and she and the couple talked for a while longer about the car accident.

"Okay, I need to go check on my other patients, if you need anything don't be afraid to have me paged," The couple nodded and Abby walked back to the admit desk, only to discover that the board was clear, and the waiting room empty. "Now's my chance," she thought to herself. Abby ran into the lounge grabbed her coat and headed out the doors for some much needed fresh air. She closed her eyes and suddenly remembered Jake's plea for a simple bag of chips. She reached into her pocket and was surprised to find a five dollar bill inside. Knowing this might be her only chance, Abby quickly headed for the Jumbo Mart, never seeing the speeding car heading straight for her. She never fully realized what had happened. The pain appeared and disappeared in a matter of seconds, by the time her body came crashing back down to the ground, she had already lost conciseness.


	2. What Happened?

**Chapter 2**

"Hey, Carter, hey Wendell" Susan greeted her colleague as they walked towards the admit desk.

"Hey Dr. Lewis, okay John I need to get back upstairs," Wendell was interrupted by a man running into the ER frantically shouting for help.

"Hey, I need help! A lady was just hit by a car" he told the two doctors.

"Where is she?" Carter asked as he and Susan ran out from the admit desk, Carter grabbing a back board.

"Right outside, she's unconscious." Susan nodded, taking in all the information.

"Pratt, we need you!" she shouted seeing the resident walk by. The three doctors dawned the familiar trauma attire and followed the man out the door.

By the time they got to her, a large group had gathered. "Excuse us, move, get out the way!" Pratt yelled as he Susan and Carter maneuvered around the bystanders. Finally, they were able to get to the street and get a first glance at the patient.

"Oh my God," Susan's hand immediately went to her mouth seeing Abby lying on the ground.

"Abby!" Carter fell down next to her and pressed his fingers to her neck desperately searching for a pulse. "She's got a pulse, Abby, can you hear me?" he wasn't surprised when he didn't receive a response. "All right, Pratt help me move her, Susan can you clear a trauma room?" Even though Susan was technically in charge of the ER, Carter felt that he had to take over right then. Susan nodded and ran back to the ER as Pratt gently stabilized Abby's head and neck, so that Carter could put her on the back board. As Carter rolled her, he could already see some of her injures, she obviously had a broken leg, and she was bleeding from multiple gashes all over her body, some of which would require stitches. But right then, the scratches were the least of their worries. The fact that Abby was unconscious was not exactly reassuring of her condition.

Then as they were strapping her to the board, Abby's eyes slowly began to open.

"Carter, she's waking up," Pratt pointed at Abby, and Carter immediately went to her head.

"Abby, can you hear me?" he took her hand in his, "squeeze my hand Abby," he was delighted when he felt a tiny pressure in his hand, and even happier when she fully opened her eyes, even though she didn't seem to be able to focus. Immediately, she tried to move, but the straps prevented it, "Abby don't try and move okay?" Carter could tell she was extremely scared. "It's okay Abby, its okay. Do you remember what happened?" out of the corner of his eye, Carter saw Sam, and Luka running at them with a gurney in tow.

"No," she barely got out, the small amount of wind it took to say that little word, had left her breathless, and Abby knew something was very, very wrong, but for some reason she really wasn't scared. The only thing she could think of was, that she was going into shock, but why? She couldn't remember what happened, she didn't know why she was lying outside on the street, or why Carter and Pratt kept exchanging glances, shouting numbers at each other, and yelling at her to stay awake. She saw Pratt reach over her and place his stethoscope to her chest. He pressed it against her ribs causing her to cry out in pain. Then Luka and Sam rush over.

"Probable rib fracture," Abby heard somebody say, then heard Luka and Sam's voices.

"Abby, you were hit by a car, does anything hurt?" Carter asked pressing his hands to her stomach, trying to get any kind of clue as to what her internal injures may be. Her mind was racing, hurt? She couldn't feel any pain, except in her chest. The doctor in her was saying that she was seriously injured but she couldn't seem to understand what.

"My chest," she whispered, suddenly she felt like she was going to vomit. But before she could tell her colleagues anything, she felt whatever it was rise into her mouth. The only thing she could do was attempt to spit it out.

"Shit, we need to roll her!" once again she felt her body being moved to the side, and whatever was in her mouth flowed out. She could hear pieces of what the doctors behind her were saying. "Blood…punctured lung…internal bleeding, chest tube" Then she realized what exactly had caused her to almost choke, blood, her own blood.

"On my count, 1,2, 3" she felt herself being lifted into the air, gently placed back down, and then she was moving again.

Sarah was sitting on the gurney waiting to be taken to x-ray when a knock came at her door.

"Come in" she replied, and Chuny appeared with a wheelchair.

"Hi Sarah, I'm going to take you to get some x-rays okay?" Chuny helped Sarah get into the chair, and turned it around, heading out the door. "That looks like it hurt!" she said pointing to the splint.

"Yeah, Dr. Lockhart thinks that it might be broken, I hope not." Chuny smiled and was about to round the corner, when she heard the commotion coming from the entrance of the ambulance bay. Apparently Sarah heard it too "What's going on?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. It sounds like a trauma just came in." She pulled the wheelchair against the wall "They'll come this way, better stay over here or else we'll be run over." Just then the gurney appeared around the corner, and Chuny instantly realized that something was wrong. It wasn't every day that three doctors and a nurse were giving a patient their undivided attention. Then she discovered why this patient was so important.

"Abby, keep your eyes open," Carter ordered, once again putting his hand to her neck checking her pulse. "Let's get her into trauma one." As they raced past Chuny and Sarah, both stared on in shock.

"Abby," Chuny whispered, thinking she had not said it out loud.

"Was that Dr. Lockhart?" Chuny looked down at Sarah who was near tears. Then she remembered that Sarah was Abby's patient. All Chuny could do was nod. "What happened, is she okay?" Chuny quickly regained her composure.

"I don't know Sarah, I'm not sure what happened," then she turned the wheelchair back towards x-ray, both patient and nurse fearing the worst.

Jake was checking on Mr. Jones, when he saw the gurney being wheeled into the next room.

"Whoa, looks like a bad one," Alice pointed out, seeing all the staff jammed into the opposite room.

"Yeah, it does," he looked up to see Sam come rushing through the double doors connecting the two trauma rooms.

"Sam, are you okay?"

"Jake, we need you in here," she looked at him, the concern evident in her eyes.

"You have about four doctors in there, Why." but he was cut short.

"Jake, it's Abby," then she raced back into the other room. Jake just stood there frozen. He couldn't will himself to move, he didn't believe what Sam had just told him until he saw nearly the entire ER staff race into the room.

"Abby? Isn't that Dr. Lockhart's first name?" for the first time, Jake, looked over at the Jones'.

"Yes, it is, excuse me," with that he dropped the chart on the floor and ran after Sam, leaving the couple extremely concerned


	3. Stay with us

**Chapter 3**

"Abby, stay with us," Luka said as the trauma orders began flowing in. He could tell just by looking at her, that she was in very real danger, and chances were she wouldn't be conciseness much longer. "Sam, get Jake in here," they needed Jake not for the doctor in him, but so that he could keep Abby talking. "Somebody page Weaver."

"What happened?" Jake ran in and immediately to Abby's side.

"She was hit by a car, just keep her awake, don't let her close her eyes," Jake nodded and knelt down by Abby, grabbing her hand in his, and began whispering to her. The monitors began to show the grimness of the situation as they started to frantically beep, as her blood pressure began to fall dangerously low, yet no obvious signs of external bleeding could be seen. The rise and fall of her chest became less steady and more labored showing the signs that she would not able to stay with them with out the doctors, her colleagues, her friends finding out the cause of the blood loss.

There was something that was definitely wrong her color and the monitors were making her ER family nervous. The reality that they could lose another one their friends was absolutely unacceptable. Abby was someone to everyone in the ER. She wasn't just another staff member like some. Most everybody had some sort of connection with her, and everyone cared about her. When she had first returned after her abduction months before, everyone realized just how important to the ER she really was. As her eyes began to close, everyone in the room started shouting at her to stay awake, trying desperately to save their friend.

"Abby! Come on stay with us, open your eyes!" Susan was gently shaking her, desperately trying to get her best friend to stay alert. Slowly, Abby opened her eyes and Susan could tell that she was in a great deal of pain. "Good girl, don't fall asleep okay?" Tears threatened to overwhelm her. As the chief of the ER, it was her job to make sure every single trauma ran as smoothly as a trauma could possibly go, but how could she do that when her best friend was the focus of the trauma? She glanced up at the clock, and was amazed to see that they had only been in the trauma room for close to three minutes. "Abby, what hurts?" It took a few seconds for Abby to respond.

"My chest, my head," Susan was relieved that she had gotten Abby to talk, now she had to keep her doing that, obviously Jake wasn't being of much help. What scared her, was the only thing that Abby had said was hurting was her chest and head, when her leg was badly broken in at least two places. "Okay, we're going to fix it, just hang in there okay?" Susan listened as the others began diagnosing and treating some the injuries Abby had suffered.

"Three broken rips, tension pneumo, she needs a chest tube, central line, she's tachy at 188, tib fracture" the list went on and on, but Susan had stopped listening. These were only the beginning of Abby's vast injuries, the CT scan would show the more intense, severe ones, one of them Susan knowing would most likely include either a broken neck or spine, or both.

"What the hell happened?" Kerry's voice boomed over the racquet in the room, causing everyone to stop what they were doing. She had received an urgent page and had raced down to the ER not knowing what exactly the emergency was. "Will somebody please tell me why there are five doctors in here?" Kerry looked over towards the gurney, "Oh God," then she looked back at Susan, and made her decision without any second thoughts, "Alright, Jake, take Susan and you two go wait in the lounge," before Susan knew what was happening, Jake was guiding her to the lounge. As they walked, Jake couldn't help but notice the stares they kept getting from certain patients and all of Abby's patients all wondering the same thing, what had happened to their doctor?


	4. Not Again

**Chapter 4**

"Okay, she's stable, Luka you and Carter go with her to CT. Pratt, call the ICU and make sure they have a bed ready and then have Dubanko meet us there." Kerry directed as she threw her bloody trauma gear on the floor. She helped them load all the equipment onto Abby's gurney, who had once again lost conciseness as soon as Susan and Jake had left; she was careful not to pull on any of the tubes or wires now connected to her. Just before they started to wheel her out, Abby began to open her eyes. Kerry rushed to her side, determined to keep Abby calm. Any more stress on her body could quickly cause her all ready critical condition to deteriorate even further.

"Abby honey, it's going to be okay. Just rest," Kerry told her as she put her hand on Abby's forehead, she watched as Abby began to say something. "Don't try and talk Abby, we had to intubate you." Kerry said as she laid her hand down upon Abby's forehead, her touch gentle as she looked over her young intern, "Luka and Carter are going to take you up to CT; it's going to be alright we are going to take care of you." Kerry redirected her attention to Carter, "page me as soon as she's out of CT, do not leave her John," she reached behind her and grabbed a blanket and spread it over Abby, "see you soon." She said as she nodded to Carter, giving them the go ahead to push the gurney out the door. Kerry stood there, thinking about what had just happened. More then likely she would spend her shift in the ER tonight. Abby was in serious danger, even if she was consciences now, that didn't mean she could survive the night.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a Dr. Lewis?" a voice interrupted Kerry's thoughts; she looked up to see a cop standing at the doors.

"Yeah, sure, follow me. Is this about the hit and run?"

"Yes, we believe we know who our suspect is,"

"Already? " Kerry walked over to the entrance of the lounge and led the cop in. "Dr. Lewis, this officer needs to speak with you about Abby," Kerry said quietly. She discovered Susan on the couch, her eyes red and puffy, Jake was leaning against the counter his head down. She knew Susan would be a mess and Jake too, and more then likely before they even answered any of the cop's questions, they would want to know about Abby.

"Kerry," Susan jumped up and ran over to her, "How is she?"

"She's in CT right now, we had to intubate, and she is consciences. Right now her injures that we can see, are almost all going to require surgery."

"What..."

"I'll bring you her chart in a minute, but right now you need to talk to him," Kerry gestured to the officer standing behind her.

"Hello Dr. Lewis, I'm Officer Collins," The officer said extending his hand to the apparently distressed doctor, "I am very sorry about Dr. Lockhart's accident, but we believe that we have a suspect in the case, I'd like to ask you a few questions about a," he looked down at the notebook in his hand, "Dr. Morris."

Carter and Luka stood outside the metal door as they watched the machine start to move. The loud hum of the equipment the only sound as the both held there breath, hoping for the best, fearing the worst. They watched the screen as it came to life, giving them some much needed insight to what their friend's injuries really were. The impact from the car and caused her spleen to rupture, her organs were a mess, broken bones everywhere and then the pooling of blood, a patch of white visible on the screen. Her pelvis fractured in several places, you could hardly see the bones barely holding onto one another. As the machine continued and the pictures kept coming up slowly one by one the internal injuries started to declare themselves. Carter and Luka were growing more and more concerned for her. Both men at one time had held Abby's heart in their hands and both still each in their own way still cared for her. Suddenly, the door burst open and Durbanko walked in. "

What do we have so far?" he looked over at the CT screens. He had received a page, telling him to meet the patient in ICU for the consult, but as soon as he heard just who the patient was, he came rushing down. They didn't have time to answer, the alarms were starting to sound and the three doctors rushed to Abby's side. The machines told them that Abby wouldn't be stable much longer without immediately transferring her back to the ER.

"We need to move her, on my count, one, two, three" Luka took charge and together they carefully moved Abby to the gurney. As all the equipment was loaded next to her, Luka looked down at Abby, who he just realized, was being treated as if she were unconscious, when in all reality, she was hearing every word that was being said about her. Granted, her brain couldn't really comprehend what was actually going on. He reached down and brushed a lose strand of hair away from her eyes. She looked up at him, her facial expressions the only she could communicate at the moment. What scared Luka the most was that Abby didn't look scared or panicked, she looked like she had just woken up from a nap, and she really didn't fully comprehend what was happening to her.

"Abby, you need surgery; Dubanko is going to do it. Don't worry, okay? Do you understand?" he could see the faint hint of fear in her eyes. He couldn't imagine what it must be like from her point of view. He would give anything to be able to take her pain away, he had even thought about sedating her, but quickly pushed that idea out of his mind. Especially not now, not when they knew just how serious her head injury was.

The monitors began to scream louder causing Luka to break eye contact with Abby and glance up at them for a quick second, when he looked back down, Abby had closed her eyes.

"Abby, stay awake! Come on!" Carter was yelling at her now, as Durbanko shined his penlight in her eyes, checking her pupils. Suddenly and without warning. Her body began to arch, and slam back down violently on the gurney. Abby's body had began to seize, Carter reached over back to the drug box that was kept in the CT room in case of emergencies such as this, and pulled out the vial of ativan grabbing the first IV access line he could get his hands on, and injecting the potentially life saving drug into Abby. They needed to get the seizures under control. She would fry what might have been left of her brain, if they let them continue.

"Ativan's in, lets move!" they pushed the gurney out the door, heading straight back towards the trauma room, her seizure growing more violent as they raced down the hall. As they passed the lounge, Carter saw Kerry standing right by the door.

"Kerry, we need you!" he screamed, remembering her order to get her as soon as Abby came out of CT. He hoped that she head heard him; he sure as hell wasn't stopping. In a matter of seconds after her seizure had first begun, they were all once again in the trauma room. A quick flash went before his eyes as he watched and held his breath waiting for the Ativan to work. That this is what they all must have been feeling that fateful valentines day so many years ago when they had to work on him and Lucy. It was never easy to work on a colleague and Abby was no exception. The first round of drugs was on board, now if that would just work like it was supposed too. He watched the monitors waiting for them to give him any sign of good news.

"Hang another liter of blood on the infuser." Carter barked worried about her heart now, "we have to get her volume back up." Luka was already on top of it as they worked again to stabilize Abby after her debilitating seizure. Her body was finally starting to relax from the sedative affect that Ativan carried. Yet, there was pressure building under her skull from the subdural hematoma that was rapidly growing. The longer they waited for surgery, the more grave and serious the situation became. They watched and waited the wait more than any of them could bear. The much needed fluids running into Abby's pale, almost lifeless looking body now, seemed to be doing absolutely nothing. Then in that blink of an eye, the monitors started the piercing cry signaling that her condition had gone the opposite way everyone had hoped for. Instantly, Carter reacted, in a way, he knew what was going to happen.

"Crash Cart." Carter yelled looking for the needed equipment to try to keep his friend alive. "Charge it to 300," He said as he brought the paddles down onto Abby's chest, "clear!" the surge of electricity making her body jump from the gurney.

"Epi, lidocaine, keep the fluids going." Luka said worried that this might be it, that he might not be able to get her heart beating again "Come on Abby fight back."

"Go again, charge to 350, clear!" he once again pressed the buttons; "Don't do this Abby!" tears were coming to his eyes as the monitors registered no heart beat.

"No pulse," Sam reported as she continued pounding on Abby's chest. In all her time at County, she had never felt more powerless in her career. Even though she was doing everything she could possibly do at the moment. "Abby, please" she pleaded to her friend, hoping that in some miraculous way, Abby had heard them.

"Damn it Abby, another round of Epi, charge to 350 again," Carter watched as Luka injected the medicine into her central line, the drugs that would hopefully help to get her heart started again. "Clear" everyone's hands went up in the air, as he applied the paddles again. It took less then two seconds before the monitor to pick up on a heart beat, but it was there, they had brought Abby back or rather Abby had decided to come back.

"We've got a rhythm, she needs to go to surgery now, and we can't wait any longer. Let's move." Dubanko ordered, quickly grabbing the rail of the gurney and wheeling it out the door and into the hallway.

Carter and Luka watched as Abby and her gurney disappeared into the elevator. It was out of their hands now straight into the hands of the surgeons. Faith in her healing was all that they had to hold onto. Watching the doors close was one of the hardest things that either of them had, had to do. Sending a stranger off to the OR was a daily occurrence for them, one that they had each done numerous times, too many to count anymore. The saying was that, if you got them to the elevator alive that you had done your job. Well today, getting her to the elevator wasn't the end of the job, now came the hours of waiting and wondering, the hoping and the praying that everything would go right.

Alice and Ron Jones' watched as their physician, the women who had just saved Ron's life hours before, who was now fighting for her own; was rolled back into the opposite trauma room. They saw the violent seizure that racked her body, and the reactions of her coworkers as her condition continued to rapidly deteriorate.

"Oh God," Alice turned to her husband and buried her head in his chest as they watched Carter apply the paddles to Abby. Ron gently stoked his wife's back as he kept his eyes on the action in the other room. "Alice, they've got her back, look," her head shot up and she turned around just in time to see them roll her out the doors. But the look on the other doctors faces didn't escape them, just like the staff, Abby's patients knew her condition wasn't good.

Sarah sat in her room alone, her parents had yet to arrive and her coach had gone to make some phone calls. The only thing she could think about was seeing Abby on the gurney, surrounded by medical equipment Sarah had never seen before. The nurse that had taken her to x-ray had promised to come back and explain to her what had happened to Abby, but she had yet to return. Sarah glanced at the door, into the quite hallway, hoping to gain some information.

The ER now contained this feeling of heaviness, almost as if a fog of disparity had fallen upon it. While there was a single person there who would say the situation was bleak, they all knew that things were, in fact, grim. Hope was a strong emotion, one that could get you thru hours of waiting but one that could also be dashed faster than one could blink their eyes. The once busy, bustling ER was now almost silent, you could have heard a pin hit the floor. Not a single doctor or nurse was smiling now and the jokes that had been flying around had long since ceased to be there. How long would it be before they received news of their friend, before they would see those eyes that held the fire of life in them, a fire that burned so brilliantly and had been a part of so many people lives for so long. That was if they ever saw them again, if Abby even made it out of surgery. Worry filled the entire staff of County General now, for one of their own had fallen victim yet once again to another seemingly needless accident.


	5. Dr Morris

**Chapter 5**

Kerry rushed into the hallway, heading for the trauma room where Abby was fighting for her life. She couldn't leave the break room when Carter had first called for her, but Kerry knew that Abby was in good hands. She had just turned the corner, when she saw Dubanko, Carter, and Luka, pushing Abby's gurney to the elevator. They were not walking like this was an everyday occurrence; the cargo on that gurney was too precious for that. They were practically running; a sense of urgency that she had not seen since the night Carter and Lucy had been stabbed. Kerry looked back over towards the trauma room, and saw Sam just standing there, staring at the floor.

"Sam," she walked over to the nurse and put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Sam's voice was soft, shaky, seeing her friend on that gurney had scared her. "She coded." Her voice trailed off for a minute. Sam was strong but there was something unnerving about seeing Abby's life hanging so dangerously close to the edge, "I didn't think we were going to get her back." A sigh of that momentary relief came from her, "but we did, we got her back. She's going to surgery now."

Kerry nodded putting a compassion in her voice that few of her staff members rarely heard and few had seen, "she'll pull thru Abby is a fighter. Have you seen Morris?"

Sam's eyes were downcast still reeling from the raw emotions that we flowing thru her, "yeah he's in exam 3 with a patient."

Kerry voice still held the same amount of understanding that it had when she first approached, "thanks Sam." She knew that this was rough on all of them and that her staff would be doubting their abilities as nurses and as doctors if this was to take a bad turn. "You did a great job with Abby." She said knowing that any bit of encouragement right now would be good for the moral of her staff, "she's here because of your hard work and dedication." She turned now heading down the hall way in search of a certain resident doctor. Officer Collins right behind her, She didn't even bother to knock on the door, just walked right in. "I'm going to have to ask you to wait outside, patient confidentiality," she told him.

"Excuse me for interrupting, Dr. Morris I need to speak with you outside,"

"Kerry, I'm with a patient." was his response. Already pissed off, she decided to go ahead and confront him right there.

"Okay, then I'll do this right here. Dr. Lockhart was just rushed to surgery about five minutes ago, apparently she was hit by a car and is suffering from massive internal injures."

"Whoa, that sucks, hope she gets better soon," Morris was clearly not getting what Kerry was saying to her.

"The car that hit her is registered to you Dr. Morris. Why don't you come with me?" Kerry watched as the color drained from his face as he realized what he might have done. And the shocked look on his patients face once the accusation was made.

"Abby? It was Abby?" he said as he followed her out the door, the three of them heading towards the elevator. Morris had seen the cop as soon as they left the exam room, but didn't pay much more attention to him.

"Yes Dr. Morris, it was. Would you like to tell me what you are high on right now?" she had looked into his eyes and noticed the size of his pupils. Morris didn't respond he just walked behind her.

"Is she going to be ok, I mean she's going to make it right?"

"Quite honestly Morris, she probably will not make it out of surgery. And even if she does, it's doubtful she'll survive the night." Kerry's words stunned him, he had expected her to say yes, that she was fine, just a simple operation. Had he really just killed a college?

"Where are we going?" he asked realizing that they had exited on the second floor. This time, it was Kerry who didn't answer, but Morris soon figured it out. He stepped into the room above the operating theater and looked down, as Kerry pushed the intercom button on the wall.

"Dr. Durbanko, its Kerry Weaver," instantly the surgeon glanced up and behind him, "I have Dr. Morris with me right now, he's the one responsible for Dr. Lockhart's condition." Morris quickly turned his gaze away, almost feeling the hate radiating from every person present in both rooms. "I think it would be a good idea if he witnessed the surgery." She turned her attention back to Collins, who reached onto his belt, grabbed a pair of handcuffs and walked to Morris.

"You have the right to remain silent..." as Morris was being read the Miranda rights, Kerry's eyes never left Abby lying on the operating table. The amount of blood that seemed to be coming from her body, the puddles of blood on the floor, was just overwhelming and made Kerry sick to her stomach. She watched as Abby's vitals never seemed to stabilize, going up and down as if she was on the rollercoaster of her life. And now, the man who might have cost Abby her life was handcuffed to a chair watching the very same thing, thru his own eyes. He was responsible for whatever happened to Abby, and he alone would have to pay the price, but her friends were left to carry the burden of possibly losing Abby.


	6. Tears

**Chapter 6**

Carter stood in one corner of the room rubbing his wrists raw with worry trying to cope with what was happening. Luka was holding onto to Sam trying to comfort her and find some solace himself. Jake was sitting by himself, head in his hands, not knowing what he could do anymore. Abby was hurt, he was a doctor, yet this time he wasn't the one who could help her.

Susan was sick with worry wondering how all of this could have happened in the first place, knowing that if she got her hands on Morris there would be no trial, she'd strangle him on the spot. Kerry was sitting down, the only one of them who was relatively calm, that was not to say she wasn't worried, for she was, Abby had been in her ER for six years now, first a med student, then nurse, once again med student. She had been there when Henry came into the world, and she had taken care of him.

They were all in different stages, each one of them having a different connection with Abby, but it was still a connection. Some where ex lovers, friends, colleagues, but it didn't matter right now what the connection was, they all had the same things written on their faces, and that was the look of desperation, of worry. She had to make it through this, she just had too. They had all been through so much together that they had to have faith that they too could make together as a team through the crisis that was unfolding before them now.

"Someone should call Maggie." Kerry said standing up from the chair that she had been sitting in, "surely Abby would want her to know. Carter, Luka do either of you have Maggie's number?" She hated to ask but Maggie was next of kin and Abby's mother, if it got to the point where it became a question of removing Abby from life support, Maggie was the only one who could legally make the decision.

Luka shrugged his shoulders, "no I don't have it Kerry." He looked over at Carter, who could feel now both Kerry and Luka's eyes upon him, "what are you looking at me for?" He asked with a snapping tone to his voice. "I might have it at home I don't know; it would probably be in her locker she carries a phonebook with her. Or it might even be in her cell phone. Try there" Kerry just looked at her two senior Attendings for a minute.

"I'll go look and call her, but John wouldn't it be better coming from you, since you have a relationship and know Maggie." Carter just looked at Kerry with almost a blank stare on his face. He didn't want to be the one to make that phone call. Granted he might have been the only one in that room right now that had even talked or spent more than five minutes with Maggie, but it had been a long time. "No Kerry I think that you should do it, after all you are Abby's supervisor." Kerry nodded in her own understanding way as she turned to leave the waiting room,

"Susan, page me if there is any news," she said simply as she headed back downstairs towards the ER, the long day dragging on everyone there, slowly but surely taking it's toll on the entire staff.

Once back in the ER, Kerry reassured Abby's patients that their doctor was doing okay. "Dr. Lockhart is still in surgery, her condition is listed as critical, that's all the information that we have at this time." She said to the media that had gathered there, upon receiving word that a doctor was stuck by a car near the hospital at which she worked. She was used to dealing with the press, a part of her job that she was accustomed to. Kerry walked into the lounge heading directly over to Abby's locker, her hand on the lock about to turn the combination when she had to stop.

She could feel the cold metal against her back as she slowly slid down to the floor. In the silence of the lounge the gravity of the situation hit her full on. She had been like a mother to Abby, who had been a med student when she first arrived in her ER, a nurse, and now a doctor. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes as she sat on the floor alone. She had done what she did best, reassuring her doctors and nurses who had the medical training themselves, that everything was going to be alright, that Abby was a fighter and she would pull through this just fine. Yet in the back of her mind, the grim fact that the odds were not in Abby's favor, was eating at her. But she did what any good Chief would do to keep the moral of her staff up, she had lied.

Kerry knew the grim truth and now in the silent, empty lounge, she able to take a minute and let it all catch up with her. The full force of reality, a slap in the face, Kerry would never admit to anyone else how she felt, for the sake of her staff she would put up the brave, strong face that everyone was use to seeing. But once she was by herself, the emotional tidal wave was unleashed. All the pain, fear, and uncertainness concerning Abby, came full force as the tears began to fall.


	7. I Promise

**Chapter 7**

After the surgery was finished and Abby was settled into the SICU, under the watchful eye of her surgical team, Dubanko made the long walk to the waiting room, where her friends swarmed around him like killer bees on the attack.

"She's is in critical but stable condition." He said looked at all of them, "I won't lie, her injuries were severe and she suffered massive blood loss during the surgery. We are watching and waiting now to see how she does."

He needed to be honest with them; they were all medical professionals and knew that their friend was seriously injured. When he had first walked into the operating room after scrubbing in, he had walked over to her, checked the vent settings, and then placed his hand on her forehead. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you Lockhart I promise you that," he knew that Abby couldn't hear him, but he needed to say something to her, before he began the surgery.

"I can't make any guarantees about her prognosis, nothing in medicine is certain. But Abby is a fighter and we will do everything that we can, that is with in our power to make sure that she has the best odds possible." He paused. "We're going to keep her in the SICU probably overnight, we need to keep an extremely close eye on her, so for now, I personally think that it would be best for you, as her friends, to go home, get some sleep and some rest. As much as I know that you all want to see her, it's better to wait until morning. I can page if something changes." He was sincere with him, "I'll be watching her tonight." They nodded, secretly hoping that at least one of them would be able to see Abby, but reality had set in, nobody would be able to see her until at the earliest, the next morning.


	8. Stranger

**Chapter 8**

"Abby, I know you can hear me, I want you to open your eyes," Indeed Abby could hear the voice, but the last thing she wanted to do was wake up. "Fine, we'll do it my way," the voice was angry this time and suddenly Abby felt herself being pulled up into a standing position. At first, Abby had the thought that somehow Lose had abducted her again, but when she was finally opened her eyes, the thought quickly disappeared.

"Well good morning," Abby looked to her side and discovered a stranger holding onto her. Immediately she pulled away. "Sorry Abby, I didn't mean to scare you," he said. She nodded, somehow not scared anymore, a feeling of relief had washed over her. Abby looked around trying to figure out just where she was, then it clicked, she was in the lounge, yet she couldn't remember how she got there. A look of confusion played across her face, but the person who was with her quickly picked up on it. "Its okay, you're in the lounge, do you remember what happened?" he asked.

"Remember what? I'm sorry sir, but you can't be in here." the man smiled at her; clearly she had no idea what was going on.

"Would you like to go for a walk Abby?" he gestured towards the door.

"No, I don't, and how do you know who I am?" she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Your name is embroidered on you lab coat Dr. Lockhart," the man pointed to her white coat. Suddenly the door opened. And Kerry walked in heading straight for the lockers.

"Hey Kerry," Abby said and began walking towards her, needing to ask her what to do about this strange person who was following her around. But Abby stopped when Kerry went to her own locker, then preceded to sink to the floor. Immediately, Abby rushed to Kerry's side afraid that something had happened, was someone hurt? "Dr. Weaver, what's wrong?" once again, Abby didn't receive a response. She had only seen Kerry cry a couple of times, but never like this, was something seriously wrong. Then, the stranger was once again at Abby's side, this time his hand on her shoulder.

"Abby, you need to come with me, Dr. Weaver cannot hear you," his voice was gentle. "Come on," he bent down and grabbed her arm, once again pulling her to her feet. Abby was about to protest, but suddenly the room changed, no longer was it the lounge but they were outside of the entrance to the SICU.

"How did you do that?" Abby whispered, already knowing what might be the answer.

"Come on, we need to go inside," he opened the door and lead her to a bed. He gestured for her to look at the figure, Abby just stared, not knowing what else to do, she saw herself lying there connected to various monitors, all of which she could identify, all of which she knew what purpose they served. Connected to her body was multiple IV leads, including a few central lines, NG tube, arterial lines, a catheter, and the EKG and EEG monitors. But what scared her most was the presence of two very distinct devices. One of course was the ventilator, pushing air into her lungs, doing the job her body couldn't do for itself anymore. Then the ICP monitor, with its attachment drilled into her skull through a tiny tube.

"You were hit by a car right outside about fifteen hours ago, do you remember anything?" Abby nodded, all the memories slowly coming back to her, yet still to shocked to say anything. "What?"

"I remember being in the ER, everyone kept telling me to keep my eyes open, and then I remember Kerry telling me that I was going somewhere, CT, I think. Carter and Luka were there, suddenly, I don't know, I just couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, that's all I can remember." the man nodded.

"You had a seizure and your heart stopped beating for a while, your friends got you back and you were rushed to surgery. It lasted close to fourteen hours, but you made it through."

"So I'm going to live right?" Abby hadn't taken her eyes off her body since they got there.

"This is where its gets tricky, you are in a deep coma Dr. Lockhart, and were very seriously injured. But it is up to you if you want to live or not. If you do decide to wake up, there is a possibility that you will have suffered severe brain damage, you may be paralyzed, you know the risks, and after all, you're a doctor yourself."

"And if I decide not to wake up,"

"Then you die."


	9. Just Tom

**Chapter 9**

"Then you die," the words had hit her like a ton of bricks, had left her unsure of what to do. "Abby, you do not have to decide right now, soon, but not now," the man said, and gently pulled her away, just as Dubanko walked in, Kerry right behind him. Abby listened and watched as her two colleagues began to examine her.

""It was Morris, that quiet rather always messed up looking little intern?" He shook his head, "Oh I would like to have him up here so that I could do absolutely nothing for him. I'd love to run over him several times with a car, well that is unless the bunch down in the ER beat me to it." Dubanko said as he knelt down next to Abby head. Kerry nodded, agreeing whole heartedly with what Dubanko was saying. She reached over and tenderly moved the hair away from the site on Abby's skull, so he could check the placement of the ICP probe, making sure that it was in place and working. When he stood back up, Kerry let her hair go, and then grabbed Abby's hand.

"Abby, it's Dr. Weaver," she gave up then, and let the tears fall. "Abby, please, please, don't give up. You have no idea how important to this ER you are sweetheart. Everyone is asking about you, your patients especially the Jones' want to come up and visit you soon. Sarah, the gymnast with the broken ankle, made me promise that she could come back and see you. She said that they were going to win at Nationals just for you. Jake is an absolute mess, Dubanko wont let him in the SICU though, more for his sake then yours." Kerry paused, the sound of the ventilator causing her to become more upset, "Abby, fight it, you can't leave us. We can't go through this again." Abby stood there in shock at what she was seeing. Dubanko had walked over to Kerry, and stood next to her, his hand on her shoulder, he let Kerry cry.

The stranger that was with Abby saw the effect that Kerry's speech was having on her, yet he knew she wasn't ready to make the decision of whether to live or not.

"Alright, come on," he grabbed her again, and soon they were in a completely different place that Abby had never seen before.

"Who are you?" her voice was shaky, quite.

"I'm Tom," he sat down next to her on the ground.

"Tom?"

"Yep, just Tom, I'm kind of like your guardian angel in a way." Abby nodded, not sure if she really wanted to know any more information about Tom.

"Where are we?" looking around, Abby just saw land, flat land. Yet, it wasn't ugly, the grass was green, the sky was a brilliant blue, and there was an occasional tree. What stood out the most, were the cows she saw in the distance. This was defiantly not Chicago.

"Texas," was Tom's simple reply.

"Texas? Why Texas?"

"It's where I grew up, it helps me to relax, helps me to think. It's where I bring all of my clients,"

Abby looked over at him, "clients?"

"Yeah, clients just like you. Once ya'll figure out that you are have a choice between life and death, the answer doesn't usually happen immediately. So instead of waiting around at the hospital, I take ya'll here," Abby silently laughed as Tom used the term ya'll frequently in their conversations.

"I like it here, it's warm," Abby smiled and looked over the plains.

"You can stay here if you like,"

"You mean if I decide not to live," suddenly, in the distance, Abby saw a giant tornado spinning on the ground, heading directly towards them, Yet, Tom didn't seem worried.

"Exactly, but either way, but think of it this way," he pointed towards the tornado, "death or life, there could be destruction in both choices."

Abby chewed on her lower lip for a minute now as she thought about what he was saying. She didn't mean to laugh but she kind of had to as the conversation that she and Carter had on the beach after being set free from the hospital after the lockdown came to her mind. He had said that she wasn't chaos but that she was definitely the tornado. And here she found herself being forced to chose between life and death, between going back home or not. One would think that this would be an easy decision but it wasn't. There was more to it than simply returning back to her old life. That life might not even be there for her anymore. Could she handle living life paralyzed or as a vegetable?

She didn't know about any other injures that she sustained and wasn't sure if she wanted to know. The thing that bothered her was that she didn't know if she would be willing to live with the decision to life once she had made it. But how could she chose to walk away from her family and her friends, the needed her, she needed them. Who would Carter talk to if Abby wasn't there, and what about Jake and the new relationship that they had going now. If she left and didn't return that would be the end of it, but if she went back, would that it still be there?

Would he still want to be with her, if the odds didn't allow her to come back as the whole person she had been? Seeing Weaver cry, that touched her to the core. She had seen Kerry cry, been there for Kerry when she had lost the baby, and she had been there when Kerry had lost Sandy and now Kerry was trying to be there for her. Despite the cold outward appearance that she had, Abby knew there was more to Kerry than what you saw. All these people cared for her on some level and Abby knew that, she just didn't know how to make the decision. What to seriously consider in it. There was more good than bad in going back that she could see. It was more of would she be able to live with it once she made the choice?


	10. Getting Worse

**Chapter 10**

Abby sat in the open field thinking about her choice. Tom had told her she had a little time to think about it, but how long exactly, she didn't know. Life or death? Go back to her friends where there was a good chance she would no longer have the abilities she used to, or death, where she would no longer feel any pain, ever again.

"Are you doing okay?" Tom walked over to her.

"Sure, why not? I mean it's not like this is a life and death decision," she laughed; it was only a life or death decision.

"Point taken, have you made a choice?" he knelt down beside her as Abby shook her head.

"You can't help me at all, I'm guessing?"

"Sorry Abby, this is all you." she looked over at him

"Thanks Tom, I really appreciate it," he smiled at her. "Is there any way we could go back?"

"To the hospital? Sure, I don't see why not, but Abby I want you to know that your decision must be made soon, or your friends will make it for you," Abby was confused, but decided not to pursue it at the moment. She just wanted to see her friends again, even if they couldn't see her. Once again, Tom grabbed her arm and soon their surroundings began to change.

Jake walked into Abby's room, seeing her for the first time that day. He couldn't stand to look at her, she seemed so helpless. She was helpless; after all, she couldn't even breathe for herself anymore. As he looked down at her, Jake realized that he didn't even know the full extent of her injures. Taking a deep breath, he reached for her chart and began flipping though the pages. Most of it, Kerry had already told him about, what she didn't tell him was that Abby's condition was slowly deteriorating, she was getting worse. The pressure inside her brain was growing, even after surgery; her organs were beginning to shut down. It said in the chart that nephrologists would be down later that day, to decide if dialysis should be started in order to preserve her kidneys. Since the accident she had suffered at least four seizures, each one doing more and more damage to her already critical condition.

"Abby, I'm here for you. Dr. Weaver called up and said she'd be here soon to come and visit." Jake paused for a minute, trying to gather his words. "Morris was the one who hit you Abby, they arrested him that night. The police wont tell us where they're holding him, they knew that most, if not all, of us would try and kill him." he was desperately trying to hold back the tears. "He was high, as usual, but Susan is blaming herself. She says she knew that Morris was getting high, but didn't have the time to deal with him, so she just gave him "easy cases" Carter literally had to sit her down in the lounge and tell her that it wasn't her fault."

Jake was holding onto her hand, "please baby you need to open those beautiful eyes for us." A tear rolled down his cheek gently landing against her hand, "come back to us Abby I know you can." He brought her hand up to place a gentle kiss upon it. He didn't know that Abby was actually hearing everything that he was telling her, that she was actually standing next to him. Tears began rolling down her face as she watched Jake cry over her. She was startled when the door opened, and Carter, Susan and Kerry walked in.

"Jake," Kerry's voice was gentle, the news she was about to deliver wasn't happy, and he sensed it.

"Yes?" he answered without turning around.

"We need to talk outside," Abby didn't miss the sympathetic glance Tom shot her way, you decide or your friends decide, the statement was beginning to make sense.

"I'm not leaving her right now; I haven't been able to be with her for over twenty four hours. Whatever needs to be said can be said in here."

"Jake, please, for Abby, we need to talk about this outside, you can have the rest of the day off to be with her" Susan spoke for the first time since they had entered the room. Jake nodded, the only reason he was going, was for Abby.

Kerry as gently as she could, but with a firmness that she knew she needed to have right now, led Jake outside the room. She knew he was reluctant to leave Abby but if she could hear, no, they knew she could hear this wasn't something that she wanted Abby to hear. "I know that you care for Abby." Kerry started in, "but I want you to prepare yourself for the worst case scenario here." She said trying to be strong yet sympathetic. "There's been no change in her EEG and the neurologist is going to do one more and then an apnea test." She said softly knowing that the young med student would know what this was all leading too.

Jake was silent, taking in what Kerry had just said to him, it was hard to accept either way, but as a soon to be doctor he knew what she was saying and it needed to be done. If Abby was going to come back to them she would. Jake didn't want to think about the alternative.

He finally nodded from behind his now wet with tears eyes. "I understand Kerry." There was no emotion in his voice; it was as flat as he was feeling right now. Sure that they would want to have it done before Maggie got there, giving them more time to talk with the family about what they wanted done in regards to her care.


	11. Don't Hold Your Breath

**Chapter 11**

Jake and Kerry stood outside the room as the neurologist came down to run the EEG. There were still no major changes, no activity where there was needed activity. The neurologist opened the door and motioned for them to come inside as he reached over to disconnect Abby from the vent. There was an eerie silence as they all watched and waited to see what was going to happen now. Jake said a silent prayer for Abby to take that breath, holding her hand as he did. He knew she could do it, she had to do it.

Abby and Tom stood in the corner; as the neurologist began to remove disconnect the vent.

"Once he disconnects, you are free to make your decision, if you decide not to go on, all you have to do is hold you breath"

"What happens if I'm still not sure?"

"Breathe, but understand this, from now on, at any second your decision will have to be made instantaneously. Do you understand?" Abby only nodded and turned her attention back towards all the activity in the room.

Abby watched as the chest of her own body stopped rising and falling with the machine no longer forcing air into her lungs, it was an different feeling watching one's own body slip from the earth. She had to think on this one, it wasn't a simple decision, but seeing Jake standing there holding his own breath as if willing it to go into her body brought a tear to Abby's eye. She never thought that anyone would care for her that much. Abby knew that she only had three minutes, but yet those were three minutes that would change her life forever. She would either breath and they would know she was still in there, or she could stand there and continue to hold her breath and they would all know that she wasn't with them anymore. Abby had never thought about making a decision like this in her entire life and she would never want to have to make it but yet she was here and had to make that decision, the seconds were quickly ticking by.

"Thirty seconds left, please Abby," Jake pleaded, more to himself then anyone in the room, he had said it so quietly, nobody could have possibly heard him, except Abby.

"You heard him Abby, if you don't show them some sign, you die in less then thirty seconds. If this is what you want, just keep it up." Tom had a weird tone to his voice, a tone Abby couldn't identify yet. Her one question was yet to be answered, take a breath or not?

Kerry had her eyes glued to Abby's chest, praying for the familiar rise and fall that would show that they hadn't lost her just yet. She glanced at the clock, Abby had been disconnected from the vent for close to two and a half minutes before, and seconds were ticking by. Then it happened, a very shallow movement. She was breathing on her own, they still had hope, and Abby had given them back hope.

"You said it yourself Dr. Weaver, and you were right. She is a fighter; in all honesty, I didn't think she would breathe for us." Jake ignored what the neurologist was saying, Abby had answered his prayers.

"Thank you," he whispered before grabbing her hand, and leaning back in his chair, continuing the much hated waiting game.


	12. Choices

**Chapter 12**

"Abby, it has been three weeks honey, come on, give us some kind of sign." Susan said looking down at her best friend. The past three weeks had been hard on all of them and it didn't seem that she was making any improvement. Abby had been holding her own, but that was about it, they couldn't take her off the vent, her breathing was still erratic and was not able to support life. The pressure in her brain had resolved itself over time just like they thought it would, but with Abby still being unconscious there was little that they could do but sit and wait, and the waiting game could take forever.

The monitors frantically started to beep, something was wrong and that wasn't the sign that Susan had been wanting from her friend, "I meant open your eyes Abby." She said trying to stay calm in a very difficult situation. Susan was pushed aside as the code team came running into the room, there was a sense of urgency in all of there actions and Susan found it hard to stand there and watch them knowing that jumping in would be the wrong thing to do. Her stomach started to churn as she watched them start to perform CPR once more on Abby, the monitor showing no heart activity of it's own. "Dear God Abby don't' die on us, please don't die." The shocked her once, there was no response and again the barrage of CPR, drugs, and shocking her now seemingly lifeless body started over again. Five minutes passed with no response from Abby.

For Susan, time had never seemed to pass so quickly, they had gone from five minutes to ten minutes in what felt like the blink of an eye. Crying now, Susan was desperately watching and waiting for some response from Abby's frail body that her friend was still in there, still fighting to hold onto her own life.

"Abby, you need to wake up, come on." Tom's voice carried a sense of urgency as he shook Abby awake.

Slowly she opened her eyes. "Abby, this is the time, you need to make your decision now, if you don't make it in one minute, the team will stop, as will your heart." Abby just stared at him, not knowing what to do.

"Okay Abby, tell me now what is it going to be, life or death?" Tom reached out and grabbed her hand, as flash of bright light hit them.

"This is it" Abby thought to herself, did she want to die and end it all right then, or risk going back? She looked into Tom's eyes silently begging him to make the decision for her.

"NOW ABBY!" he practically yelled at her. She took one more look at the white light and at Tom, and then made her decision.


	13. Do it for Abby

**Chapter 13**

Susan's heart jumped when the monitor jumped, once, twice, three times, "holy shit we've got a rhythm." She heard one of them say but Susan was about to break out into song and dance to notice who had actually said it. Once she was sure that Abby was indeed stable, she rushed down to the ER, under strict orders to update them if anything happened, "Well" she thought to herself "something did happen,":

"So Dr. Lockhart, you chose to live," Tom smiled at her.

"Yeah, I couldn't leave them, not yet anyway."

"You mean so much to the ER Abby, you might not realize it just yet, but you do. Not every physician possesses the skills and compassion you do. Your patients love you, as do your coworkers, especially Jake," Tom noticed how Abby smiled as soon as he mentioned Jake's name. "You made the right choice,"

"I hope so. What happens now?"

"Up here, it seems like you've just made the decision, but down on earth, well its been close to six hours." Abby just stared. "So after we say our goodbyes, you'll wake up and wont see me for a very long time, at least hopefully."

"Thank you Tom, I really appreciate you," Abby whispered, near tears.

"Don't cry, not yet, when you see Dr. Jake then you can cry," Tom reached over and pulled her into a tight embrace, "See you later Dr. Lockhart," Abby heard him say, before everything turned black.

The monitors were showing that Abby had finally stabilized, that her heart was beating on it's own again and there was the occasional movement of a breath that she was taking on her own. Susan remained by Abby's side now as she watched over her friend. Then out of the blue, a hand moved. Susan looked down and sure enough Abby's fingers had moved inside hers. "That's it Abby, come on, come back." Susan said giving her friend an encouraging voice to come back to. She watched knowing that if Abby was coming back to them it was going to be a long process that would take hours even days. As the time passed the movements become more frequent and after several hours there were signs that she was going to open her eyes again. Susan could see Abby's eye lids making that attempt to open.

She had paged Jake, minutes before; she wanted him to be there when Abby opened her eyes. Suddenly, the door burst open and Jake rushed in, Kerry at his heals.

"What happened?" he took a quick glance at the monitors, as she rushed to Abby's side.

"Watch, here take her hand," Susan directed. Jake did as he was told, as Kerry looked on. "Abby, squeeze Jake's hand, come on sweetie, you can do it," there wasn't any movement.

"Dr. Lewis, this is..." Jake started to untangle his hand from Abby's but Susan stopped him.

"This isn't for you Jake, its for Abby. Why don't you try and talk to her?"

"Fine," Jake said rather brash with Susan, he didn't like the fact that she seemed to be toying with him right now, he lowered his voice as he bent down on the edge of Abby's gurney leaning in so that only she could hear him, "Abby its Jake, squeeze my hand if you can hear me babe, come on, you can do it," and there it was, a soft movement in his hand. "Good girl, now we just need you to open your eyes."

There was a flutter of moment from Abby's eye lids. Jake's smile grew even wider as he noticed that Abby was trying to come back, she was coming back to them. "That's it Abby, come back toward the sound of my voice." Her eyes just kept fluttering as Abby felt so heavy right now she couldn't open them, it felt as if concrete held them shut against her will, but she could hear Jake's voice and was trying to get back to it. Slowly each time she tried they came open just a little bit further. Until finally she was able to open them all the way. She could feel the annoyance of the tube down her throat unsure of why it was there, pain was shooting thru different parts of her body now as she came back to the land of the living.

"It's okay baby." Jake said brushing his hand across her forehead, "you're going to be alright." He looked over at Susan amazed that she had awoken from the coma she had been in for so long. "Thank you Abby, thank you," he bent down and placed a kiss on her forehead as Susan and Kerry stood in the doorway, tears running down both of their faces.

Soon began the process of telling Abby what had happened to her, the extent of her injuries and what all had been done to her in hopes that it would ease her fears and anxieties some.


	14. Lucky

**Chapter 14**

The news that Abby had finally woken up, spread through the ER like wild fire. Unlike the scene three weeks prior, now everyone was smiling, happy, telling jokes. They all couldn't wait to get up to see Abby. The lounge was full of gifts, cards, and everything else, just waiting to be delivered to her. When the media had first announced the news of the accident, the get-well soon whishes began coming in, but now that Abby was awake, everything was pouring in so fast, they had no where else to put it, but in the lounge, there was no space in Abby's ICU room anymore, things were beginning to be donated to the child life department,

Sam and Luka were the ones visiting her now, of course Jake was there.

"Hey guys," he whispered when they walked in.

"How is she?" Sam crossed the room and plopped down in the empty chair.

"Better, they still don't want to take her off the vent though"

"Its to be expected." Luka said and grabbed her chart. "I'm guessing they're going to do another EEG?"

"Yeah, then another MRI, CT," Suddenly. Abby's eyes began to open. "Hey sleepy head," Jake bent down and kissed her on the cheek. "Sam and Luka are here," he watched as she brought her hand to the tube, clearly not wanting it in any longer. She did this every time she awoke; it was as if she couldn't remember it was there.

"Not just yet darling'" Jake said pulling her hand away from the tube, "you got to get a little bit better before they take that out, I know it's annoying as hell but breathe a little better on your own and I might be able to weasel something for you." He looked into her eyes and saw that once again, she was falling asleep, "Okay, go to sleep, I'll be right here." he watched as she nodded off.

"That's the longest she's been able to stay awake," Jake told Luka and Sam.

"She's recovering from a massive head trauma Jake, we are lucky she even can open her eyes"

"She's going to recover." Jake said rather seriously to them both, "I never doubted it and neither should anyone else. That is our Abby laying there and we are going to get her back."

The room fell silent now as they all were lost in their own thoughts; the only sound that resonated was the steady beeping from Abby's monitor that was recording the beat of her heart, and the mechanical hum of the ventilator. Jake was mad that they didn't have faith that Abby was going to get better, Luka was upset that Abby was in condition she was in to being with and Sam, well Sam just didn't like the situation any more than anyone else. She was the one to finally break the silence, "we shouldn't be mad with each other." She said her voice soft yet steady, "you're right Abby's going to be fine, she's still here and," she glanced at Luka, "granted none of us like seeing her like this, she'll be back to doing what she loves to do soon."

Jake nodded knowing Sam was right, he didn't have any real reason to get so mad at the two, and he just wanted Abby well.


	15. Strong Enough?

**Chapter 15**

It had been two days since Abby had first opened her eyes, and everyday showed immense amounts of improvement. She was able to stay awake for longer periods, and could respond to simple questions through squeezing the person's hand. However, she was still intubated, still not strong enough to breathe on her own.

So now, Jake, Kerry and Dubanko stood outside her room debating what to do next.

"We don't know if she's able to yet, Jake, or else we would!"

"She's frustrated, if something happens, we can always re tube her. She would recover a lot faster if she wasn't so stressed"

"Not if she cant breathe!" Dubanko fired back.

"Look, Abby is the love of my life, I know what she wants. Please, I'm begging you, just give her one chance. That's all I'm asking."

"Fine, but listen, as soon as it even looks like its going the wrong way, the tube goes back in, understand?" Dubanko obviously wasn't in the mood to argue any more, he walked into the room, leaving Kerry and Jake standing outside.

"Are you sure you want to do this Jake? She is still very sick." Kerry asked as the two followed Dubanko inside.

"I don't want it, but Abby does," he stated and walked over to her bedside. He grabbed her hand and began to talk to her. "Abby, honey wake up," he waited until her eyes opened and had focused on him. "You want that tube out?" she squeezed his hand. "Okay, we're going to do that" he watched as Dubanko set up next to Abby, Jake's gaze didn't miss the intubation kit right there.

"Hey Lockhart, from what I understand from your boyfriend here, you want that tube out. Alright you know the drill," Dubanko reached over and grabbed the tube, "okay take a deep breath in and when I say three, and blow out hard. One, two, three" Dubanko pulled the tube out as Abby began to cough.

"Its okay Abby, deep breaths," Jake comforted her, as Kerry reached down and placed the nasal canula gently around Abby.

"SATS are 98...96...92, 85" Dubanko rattled off and grabbed the tube, ready to put Abby back on the vent.

"Just hold on!" Jake yelled at him, not ready to give up yet. "Come on Abby, you're doing great," Kerry and Dubanko exchanged nervous glances, they had finally gotten Abby back, the last thing they were going to do was to put her in any more danger. They watched as Abby slowly got control over her breathing. Kerry looked down at her doctor, that three weeks ago, was so sure she had lost.

"Hi, Kerry," her voice was nothing more then a horse whisper, but that didn't matter, Abby had spoken, a voice nobody had heard since that night in the ER.

Kerry patted Abby's hand, "hi there yourself." She said looking at Abby with a true smile on her face, happy to hear her voice and see her eyes bright and open.

"Kerry..." Abby's voice was shaky now, didn't hold the confidence it usually did.

"What's wrong?"

"Why can't I feel my legs?" all three doctors glanced at each other, sure paralysis was a definite risk, but that had been overshadowed with the fact that Abby had finally woken up.

"Abby, it's a result from swelling in the spinal column putting pressure on the nerves, it's probably just temporary." Jake was trying to reassure her, as Kerry lowered the gurney so that she was flat. Abby knew what they were about to do, but was still rather frightened. "Hey, its going to be okay, don't worry," He watched as Dubanko pulled out a small needle and began pressing it against her leg.

"Alright Lockhart, tell me when you feel the pinch okay?" He slowly started to move up her leg waiting for Abby to tell him where she had feeling, slowly he moved up keeping any hint of concern off his face

"Right there," Abby whispered as the needle reached the middle of her knee. Dubanko nodded,

"Alright, we're just going to start you on some Prednisone, and then we'll go from there. Don't worry, everything will be fine," Abby smiled at Durbanko, she completely trusted him, after all her life had literally been in his hands weeks before. As she once again fell asleep, the other three doctors walked back outside her room. It was going to be a long road to recovery, but at least now, they were going to be able to travel down that road.


	16. Nice Try Dr Lockhart

**Chapter 16**

It had been nearly a month since the accident, and only a week since Abby had first opened her eyes. It didn't surprise anyone that she was doing remarkably well, granted she still would not be able to walk for at least another six weeks.

"Got any five's" her voice was still weak, tired.

"Go fish," Susan watched as Abby began to lie back into her bed, most likely getting tired.

"Are you feeling okay?" Susan couldn't help but glance up at the monitors, it was habit.

"Yeah, I'm just bored, I don't know if I can stand this room much longer. You've got to get me out of here Susan,"

"Nice try Dr. Lockhart," Susan smiled over at her friend. She could still see the pins literary sticking out of Abby's skin, helping heal her crushed pelvis. Then her left leg of course, was still encased in a massive cast.

"Susan, just outside. I..." but Abby was interrupted mid sentence by Susan.

"Its about ten degrees below outside, and the last thing you need is pneumonia."

"I wont catch pneumonia, I"

"And what if you do?" Susan's voice had suddenly changed from being light hearted to now a sort of seriousness, and now Abby could actually see tears in her eyes.

"Susan," Abby started but for the third time that day, Susan interrupted her.

"Abby, when I first saw you lying on the ground, I didn't know what to think. It was scary to say the least you are my best friend and seeing you lifeless like that it put my heart into my throat." Susan said looking at Abby now, "and then when we about lost you, I about lost it. What would I do with out you? You are the best damn intern I have had on my staff and well not to mention the only person who seems comfortable with my puking in their shoes." She was trying to make light of a very difficult situation. "Please I know you want out even for a second, but there's still so much that could go wrong." She sighed now, "just for my sanity please take it easy, recuperate fully then we can see about maybe springing you, go get a chili dog from the vendor by the river."

"All right, not outside then. But at least outside the room?" that was the only response Abby could give; she didn't know what to say to Susan's words.

"You don't give up do you?"

"You should know that by now Susan, you said it yourself, you thought you had lost me,"

"Okay, okay, how about a trip down to the ER? Everyone would be happy to see you." Susan stood up and walked outside; only to return a second later pushing a wheelchair, followed by Joe, the male nurse that had been taking care of Abby.

"Hey there Dr. Lockhart, Dr. Lewis tells me you want to get out for a while." he reached down and gently lifted Abby into his arms, while Susan grabbed the IV bag, and unhooked it from the pole.

"Joe, call me Abby," she smiled as he placed her in the wheelchair, then covered her with a blanket.

"Yes Dr... I mean Abby." He turned to Susan now, "don't you be doing anything with the precious cargo here, make sure she gets back to me in one piece." Susan laughed hearing that. Something about Joe's voice sounded oddly familiar, to Abby. The way he talked had a sort of southern accent to it.

"you got it; I'll have her back in the same shape if not a little better, than when she was given to me in." Abby looked at both of them now,

"ha, ha, come on can we please go." She drew out the word please as long as she could. She hated when people were talking about her.

"No longer then an hour, Dr. Lewis, she needs her rest."

"Got it Joe," Susan said as she pushed Abby out the door and towards the elevator. "Are you happy now?"

"Yes I am, now if only..."

"DON'T EVEN TRY," Susan said, already knowing where Abby was going.

"I was just going to ask, if we could order a pizza or something." Susan laughed. Jake had been right from the very beginning, they were going to get Abby back and here she was. It was a miracle that Abby had no brain damage, no paralysis, nothing life threatening, at least anymore. Of course, she would most likely face at least one more surgery, to remove the pins in her pelvis, and that was happening most likely the following week. But that was beside the point, Susan had gotten her best friend back, the ER had gotten a fabulous doctor back, and Jake had gotten someone very special back.

A/N: Alright, I am going to try and write some more, but not sure about it right now! School and work are taking up alot of time! Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed! RACHEL...Do I even have to say it?


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